Rambling

You know what?

Sometimes it gets old. It gets old to be the one who is waiting. It gets old to see all your friends have the time of their lives when you face life by yourself. It gets old to let people know that you just are you and there isn’t someone else in your life. That for some reason that you aren’t good enough for someone. That you work and keep busy, but at times you feel so alone in the world.

But, to meet a baby who was just given the gift of life. To know that you will know her for the rest of your life. You are waiting for the day that she calls you and says, “I love and miss you Aunt Kris.” Her twenty-inch body took my breath away. She is so beautiful. I don’t think I can love someone more than I love her. Lilly will always be a part of my life; she will know that she is loved so she won’t go through the pain that I had to go through. To know that God sent his son as a baby to save me. What a precious gift babies are. I don’t think I realized that as much as I do now before I met Baby Lillian.

And to realize that you aren’t with someone because there is someone out they’re waiting for you. To know that you don’t have to change yourself to be loved; you will be loved for the rest of your life just as you are. To realize that there is someone out there for you. That one day your divinely orchestrated life will cross with the person that He made for you. You will realize that this is the man you were to marry. Or you realize that God made you because he wants you all for himself. He didn’t make you a husband because he wants you to whole-heartedly serve him for the rest of your life. He wants you to focus on him and his work. It will be worth it.

We just have to be okay with God’s plan. I don’t know God’s plan for my life for tomorrow. I don’t know where I will be in five years except for in constant communion with him, serving in his kingdom wherever he tells me I need to go. That's the only constant that I know will be there in the future.

The bad doesn’t seem so bad when you realize we were created as eternal beings. The promise of the future makes living for Jesus worth every hardship. Knowing Him is worth so much more than the worries of the world.

Just some of my ramblings from today. Praying for each of you.