Darkness

“When everything comes down to love,
Than just what am I afraid of?
When I call out your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I’m yours”
-Addison Road “Hope Now”

I’ve loved this song for a while now. Its one I keep regularly in my playlists and cds in the car. It’s a song that I continue to go back to, a song I find myself regularly worshipping to, simply because I often forget what I was created for, and who I was created by. That I am created to worship the King and serve HIM for the rest of my life. This is the only thing I was created for; I will spend eternity doing those things.

Love is a scary thing. I think that we are scared to “fall in love” with someone else. I know for a fact that I am scared. The idea that someone wants to love me and know everything about me absolutely makes me want to run away. When I was in high school and walked through the things I did, I always was able to hide parts of myself. Even today, there are parts of myself that I can hide from the world. To let another human know me fully, still, on some levels, scares me.

But my God knows me fully. He realizes my deepest darknesses and still loves me like I am. He knows me and still loves me. I think I realize my deepest darknesses and don’t really know why God wants to love me. And I think that we all think that way in some respects. Why would the only one who knows my deepest darkness love me the most? Because He is LOVE. He desires to see the real you; He wants you to run to him when darkness seems to overcome everything. I know what when I run to him I find rest in the shadow of his wings. At times, I go to bed fighting with something inside of me, and rest well because I let Him fight for me. Sometimes I wake up knowing that He went to war for me while I slept. Like Pastor Pat says often, I can’t wait to watch the Holy Spirit Blockbuster to see when I went to sleep, the battles that were fought for me.

I am not alone when I fight for anything. I am not alone even when my life seems to be that I am. It’s a battle that I’ve fought a lot lately. My God loves me; I forget that he does because of the world that feeds me that lie so many times. I get convinced that I am not enough and will never be enough. That is a scary lie to believe, no matter who we are.

Darkness in life is just that: Dark. It’s hard to see the light when the darkness seems to overcome everything around us. But we have the light. Don’t forget that friends!

another quiz

* * * * * * * * * * FOODOLOGY* * * * * * * * * * * * *

What is your salad dressing of choice?
Usually Ranch.

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
My Favorite? Probably Texas Road House

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Chicken

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
I love just plain cheese. I’m boring!

What do you like to put on your toast?
Peanut Butter.

Chocolate or Vanilla?
Vanilla

* * * * * * * * * * * TECHNOLOGY * * * * * * * * * * * *

How many televisions are in your house?
None at the moment… should be one soon!

What color cell phone do you have?
Black

Do you have a laptop?
Currently typing on it!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * BIOLOGY* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Tonsils and Adenoids

What is the heaviest item you lifted?
Probably a speaker at the Basement.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Yes

* * * * * * * * * * * * BULLCRAPOLOGY* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
I would, so I’d be able to say goodbye.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Really, I wouldn’t. I’m Kristyn. Couldn’t imagine myself as something else.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
$1000 would pay a lot of bills. So yes!

* * * * * * * * * * * * DUMBOLOGY* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
Probably about 25… need a couple new pairs for summer though!

Last person you talked to?
The lady at Wal-Mart. Curious conversation!

Last person you hugged?
Linda Oliver from hope for the nation!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * FAVORITOLOGY * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Season?
Summer.

Holiday?
I like Christmas in a warm state!

Day of the week?
I don’t have a standing favorite. Changes every week!

Month?
I like summer!

* * * * * * * * * * * CURRENTOLOGY** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Missing someone?
Kind of

Mood?
Chill

What are you listening to?
The typing… refreshing time of the day for me!

Watching?
Nada

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * RANDOMOLOGY* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

First place you went this morning?
The kitchen probably

What's the last movie you saw?
I’m in the process of watching A Walk to Remember!

Do you smile often?
Most of the time!

Sleeping alone tonight?
Yes

Do you always answer your phone?
Most of the time…

It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Facebook

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
I like my Blue!

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
I don’t add. Love me a strawberry or watermelon slush though, but only during happy hour ;-)

Do you own a digital camera?
Yes

Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yes. College, you know?

Favorite Christmas song(s)?
It’s a joke that I get made fun of for at Christmas time, but I despise Christmas music.

Can you do push ups?
Yes.

Can you do a chin up?
Haven’t tried.

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
I just feel ALIVE!

Do you have any saved texts?
Yes ;-)

Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes. Changed my life.

Do you have an accent?
People tell me I do. Southern accent with northern mannerisms. Thanks dad!

What is the last song to make you cry?
Hope Now by Addison Road

Plans tonight?
Got home a bit ago from an awesome night; have plans with a paper for tomorrow night! (Yeah being a senior!)

Plans tomorrow?
Yes. Work, B, Paper, Grocery Store, Cleaning, Getting Ready for the week to come!

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
I have hit my rock bottom. It was rough!

Have you ever been given roses?
Just one for a couple of different events.

Current hate right now?
Papers, School ;-)

Met someone who changed your life?
His name is Jesus. And her name was Mercy.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
If I could know what I know now, yes.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Nope

Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
Just my ears!

Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
God’s will is my life plan!

Does anyone love you?
I think so.

What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever is on my mind that day.

Ever had someone sing to you?
☺ Yes!

Do you like to cuddle?
Sometimes; have to be in the mood though.

Have you held hands with anyone today?
Nope

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Lauren and me took one together on the way to Vestavia Tonight!

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
I didn’t really.

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
Mostly newish (about 2 ½ years)

Do you like pulpy orange juice?
Yes, seldomly. If I want OJ I want pulpy, but I don’t want OJ a lot!

What is something your friends make fun of you for?
Let’s not go there.

Have you ever ridden an elephant?
No

Do you like to play Scrabble?
No

When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
I make them lots! But I only eat them very seldomly

What were you doing at 1:00am last night?
I was in the bed!

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Awesome, I don’t have anything to do this morning!


I've got a meaningful blog in the works! Look for it tomorrow!

Questions...

Or Alternative Title.. I didn't come up with something cooler.

001. Real name → Kristyn Ramsey
002. Nickname(s) → Kristy, Kris, Ma'am, Sis, Aunt Kris
003. Status → Procrastination. Its an art.
004. Zodiac sign → Leo I think
005. Male or female → female
006. Elementary → Mountain Christian
007. Middle School → Mountain Christian
008. High School → Grace Academy
010. Hair color → Blonde
011. Long or short → Long.
012. Loud or Quiet → I'm pretty loud. :-)
013. Sweats or Jeans → Both.
014. Phone or Camera → Phone.
015. Health freak → Somewhat
016. Shorts or Pants → Shorts or a Skirt
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → I'm in love with Jesus.
018. Eat or Drink → Definitely Drink
019. Piercings → Just ears
020. Tattoos → I want one.
021. Water or Fire → Fire- You're talking to a pyro
022. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars → Love of my life

FIRSTS:
023. First fear → Acceptance. I was a pretty unscared kid.
024. First best friend → Jamie
025. First award → Skating
026. First crush → Couldn't tell you.
028. First big vacation → Dominican Republic
030. First big birthday → I haven't had a big birthday. Not really keen on them, and being the 5th kid, you don't get many.

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → chewing some gum
050. Drinking → nada
052. I'm about to → finish getting ready to do laundry
053. Listening to→ Something Stacey is playing... its good though
054. Plans for today → Laundry and Homework. Sounds exciting right?
055. Waiting for → a phone call

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids?→ maybe.
059. Want to get married? yes
060. What careers do you have in mind?→ Full Time Ministry

WHICH IS BETTER WITH A GUY?
068. Lips or eyes → eyes
070. Shorter or taller? → taller is usually nice
072. Romantic or spontaneous → Sponaneous
73. Nice stomach or nice arms → Arms
074. Sensitive or loud -> Sensitive
075. Hook-up or relationship → relationship
077. Trouble maker or hesitant → idk

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → Yes
081. Ran away from home? → Nope
082. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → No
083. Killed somebody → No
084. Heartbroken → Yes
085. Been arrested → No
087. Cried when someone died → yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → I believe in the Christ who lives inside of me.
090. Miracles → yes
091. Love at first sight → I think you can know you're going to spend your lives together.
092. Heaven → yes
093. Santa Claus → If I didn't, I wouldn't get presents from home. :-)
094. Sex on the first date? → no way
095. Kiss on the first date → Nope

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → yeah
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → I am. I want to see where the Lord is going to talk me!
099. Do you believe in God → With every fiber of my being
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people → this is not 100 truths. it is missing some numbers.

Praying hard today... its been a hard week!
<3 Kristyn

Others Can, You Cannot

If God has called you to be really like Jesus in all your spirit, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion & humility & will put you in such demands of obedience that you will not be allowed to follow other Christians…& in many ways He will appear to let other good people do things which He will not let you do.

Other Christians & ministers who seem very religious & useful may push themselves, pull wires & work schemes to carry out their plans but you cannot do it…& if you attempt it, you will meet with such failure & rebuke from the Lord as to make you sorely penitent.

Others may brag on themselves, on their work, on their success, on their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing, & if you begin it, He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise yourself & all your good works.

Others will be allowed to succeed in making money, or having a legacy left to them or in having luxuries, but it is likely God will keep you poor, because He wants you to have something better than gold, & that is a helpless dependence on Him, that He may have the privilege of supplying your needs day by day out of an unseen treasury.

The Lord will let others be honored & put forward & keep you hidden away in obscurity because He wants to reproduce some choice, fragrant fruit for His coming glory, which can be produced only in the shade.

He will let others be great, but keep you small. He will let others do a work for Him & get the credit for it, but He will make you toil & work on without knowing how much you’re doing. And then to make your work even more precious, He will let others get the credit for the work which you have done, & thus will make your reward ten times greater when Jesus comes.

The Holy Spirit will put a strict watch over you, with a jealous love & will rebuke you for little words & feelings or for wasting your time, which other Christians never seem distressed over. So make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign, & has a right to do as He pleases with His own. He will not explain to you reason in His dealings with you. He will take you at your word; & if you absolutely see yourself to be His slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love & let other people say & do many things that you cannot do or say.

Settle it forever that you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit & that He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue or chaining your hand or closing your eyes, in ways that He does not deal with others. And when you are so possessed with the living God that you are, in your secret heart, pleased & delighted over this peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship & management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you have found the vestibule of Heaven.

You know at times it may seem unfair that others can do things that you cannot do, but just remember that God has a purpose & plan for your life that only you can fulfill. I know in my life that the Lord won’t allow me to say or even do some things that other Christians can say or do, but that’s not because the Lord is unfair, but I realized that my plan & purpose that the Lord has for me won’t allow it. But everything comes back to trust. Do you trust God with your life? Do you trust His timing? Just remember…others may; you cannot…


From a friend...

Good Morning Friends!

My prayer is that you are well today, rested and ready to face the challenges and the joys that you will find before your head finds the pillow to conclude another day.

Each day is hard in its own ways for each of us. At times, we don’t understand what it means to find ourselves out of the situation that we don’t want to be in. There are times that we don’t understand why we aren’t getting the things we think we deserve, when the reality is we don’t. Like Pastor Dave said last night, if I got what I deserved, I would be struck down dead. I don’t get what I deserve, and I praise God for that!

I never deserved to meet this girl who changed my world:


Or this one:

I didn’t deserve to meet my “brothers” (who we all have a love/hate relationship with each other):


I never deserved the opportunity to see God do this:


And I never dreamed that I would actually be a part of it:


And no doubt, I didn’t deserve a Saviour who went and did this to cover my sin:





I didn’t get what I deserved. I praise God I didn’t get what I deserved.
Are you thankful that you get what you didn’t deserve?

Another day.

Another day. Another moment to rise to the occasion.

It’s a glorious rainy day here in Birmingham. Classes are back in full force; I’m just not ready for this. May 15 cannot come soon enough.

God is moving. God continues to show up when we get ready for services. God is showing up in our daily lives. Church yesterday was good; worship was refreshing. Good to see God show up in people’s lives. Matt is speaking this week; I’m looking forward to it. If you live in Birmingham, you should definitely be there. Comment or email me for details. We are watching a revolution rise up in this city; we should be honored that we are a chosen generation. Being chosen isn’t always easy; looking for the easy way out is not for us. But it would be easy to be that way.

Proverbs 27:19
A mirror reflects a man’s face but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.

Show me your friends; I can show you your future. Your five closest friends will shape you more than anything else.

Check the people you are with. Are they seeking the Lord? Are they teaching you? What do you do when you are together? Is the Lord a part of what you do on a regular basis?

I’m watching a revolution rise because people got with people who call them to be better. People who call them to rise to the occasion of our lives. People who want us to be the generation we are called to be rather than the generation that people expected us to be. People who desire God to show up in our world. People who want others to see what is means to really glorify Christ with our lives.

Some of the team

(By the way, check out Basement Mission Media every Tuesday Night at 6:30p central time, 7:30p eastern time, 5:30p mountain time, and 4:30p pacific time to see The Basement on live feed. The Basement comes to your home computer.)

The Revolution


Will you rise up to the occasion of your life? Will you make it count for something in light of eternity? Or will you continue to be the status quo like every generation before you?

We're changing Birmingham; what are you changing?

Love each of you! Leave me a comment!
Kris

25 Things...

So, the truth is I don't really have anything cool to blog about tonight, and its taken it out of my today just to survive, so I thought this would be interesting.

RULE: Once you've been tagged you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you it's because I want to know more about you...

Here are my 25 facts:

1. One of the worst things for me is getting up. The whole idea of "Smile, its a new day!" doesn't hit me for a great while after I am awake. I love to sleep.
2. I am rediculously stubborn, even to myself sometimes. Some ideas I just can't "get over."
3. I am a horrible procrastinator. I suffer for it. I'm late just about everywhere, mostly because of the procrastination.
4. I love media. I don't go many places without a computer. I rarely handwrite anything now a days because I can just type it.
5. I want to do full time large scale youth ministry for a job.
6. Lillian is most of my world. And she's cute too!
7. I love my guys. More than they know. And, my girls are AMAZING. My whole world would be messed up without them in my life.
8. I am so DONE with school. Just want that piece of paper that says GRADUATED.
9. I do want to get married at some point. But it won't be for a while. I'm focused on the Lord, graduating, and ministry right now.
10. I am an observer by nature. I will more often watch than participate. Unless its something I'm good at and need to step up and lead, I'll normally just watch.
11. Work is getting old quick. I've never kept the same job both semesters since I have been in college. Ask me about that sometime.
12. I've had the same cell phone number more than half of my life. & that says a lot cause I'm only 20.
13. I can sleep just about anywhere if I am tired enough. And I love to sleep on airplanes. Its not very often I don't fall asleep.
14. I have far too many clothes. More than any one person should own.
15. I carry my backpack just about everywhere. Its like my grown up security blanket. If I have it, I feel safe.
16. I tend to do things in order. But in order means how I think they should be, and don't always make a ton of sense to everyone else.
17. This is taking forever.
18. I'm not sure that I really want kids. My sisters can have me just a bunch of nieces and nephews to spoil.
19. I'm not spontaneous pretty much at all. Seriously.
20. I love to have sweet tea. I could drink it just about everyday. But I try not to.
21. You need a twitter. Facebook status updates on steroids. Pretty cool.
22. I dream of getting married. I want to get married, but I know right now that I need to be focused on the Lord and his purposes.
23. I'm praying for my future husband. I can't wait to meet you babe!
    
24. The Basement is a huge part of my life. That's like its own 25 random things post.
25. And finally to the end, I love Jesus. I was set free from a life of suicide and depression and he has taken me places I dream of!

Love ya'll. Keep Jesus FIRST today! Be blessed!

Verse of the day...

So picture of the day failed horribly in my life, but I wanted to let you read a verse that rocked my world.

"For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption,so that, as it is written, 'Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.' " 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

We are nobody's who God has chosen to use to be a part of changing the world, and scripture is clear that He's chooses the no body's so that HE gets the glory. God is moving in this city. God is using us to change our city. And God is about to do more in this city than you can imagine.

Check out our website or our myspace to see what the Basement is all about and see what God is doing in Birmingham!

The Lunch Date Blouse GIVEAWAY!!!!

The Lunch Date Blouse GIVEAWAY!!!!

You definately need to check out this giveaway that Trina linked me too!

Its super cute!

Kristyn

A Photo A Day- 1 Jan 08

A Book I'm Reading

The Mess in my room... its clean now ;-)

Something that I want to do this year is to take at least one picture every day. Knowing me it will be more than one, but I want to document the year and the journey that the Lord takes me on.

Yesterdays are above: 1 January 2008

Just Some Pictures...

Thought I would upload some pictures from Africa 07 and a picture from Vacation last year... just some edits.

Where I'm At.

I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I'm afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And I tell you how I feel- like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart-- locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside of you too... but I might not ever know.

Super Cool...

And updating my blog for the second time in the same hour.

For one thought:

If you had every resource, what would you do that you aren't doing now?
What impact would you make that you aren't making now?
Would it be worth it to give something up so you could make an impact on earth, that could last through all of eternity?

Just thinking... I want to know what you think.
Kristyn

Not Me Monday

One of my super cool blog friends McMama (www.mycharmingkids.net) posts one of my favorite post of the week. This is the first time I've done it, but I'm working on getting into the habit of blogging more...

I am not bloging right now as to procrastinate on my last paper for Fall 2008. I'm being disciplined and getting the paper done right.

I didn't just throw my stuff all over the floor and not pick it up this weekend. I was good and put everything away in its place.

I didn't skip church this morning because my bed was so comfortable.

I didn't procrastinate on this paper.

I haven't been procrastinating like a CHAMP on Christmas shopping. Christmas is in ten days. I have more sense that that.

I'm not trying to talk myself out of running tomorrow before I get ready for the day. I do it every single day, and don't convince myself that i don't need to because I'm not trainign for a specific race.

That more "Not Me's" than you probably needed to know, but I'm working on bloging more and this was motivation to do so!

To the Basement Crew....

And in this I give advice: It is to your advantage not only to be doing what you began and were desiring to do a year ago; but now you also must complete the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to desire it, so there also may be a completion out of what you have. For if there is first a willing mind, it is accepted according to what one has, and not according to what he does not have.

2 Corinthians 8:10-12 (NKJV)


I give my opinion in this matter, for this is to your advantage, who were the first to begin a year ago not only to do this, but also to desire to do it. But now finish doing it also, so that just as there was the readiness to desire it, so there may be also the completion of it by your ability. For if the readiness is present, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have.

2 Corinthians 8:10-12 (NASB)


I know this verse was written for us! Specifically today for the very purpose to encourage us in our mission! Remember that passionate CONSUMING desire? Have you lost it a little? It's only logical that you have. We gain it back, but some days we're down in the dumps thinking that what we're doing isn't really working. That verse says to finish! Don't stop your gait! We have to finish this with as much zeal and zest as we started out with! All we have to do is be willing! It doesn't matter if we have the ability to do 'this' or 'that' because God can use you whether you actually have the ability for the task He wants you to do! Look at Moses! He couldn't speak well, but God used him anyway! Look at David! A shepherd boy who became the king of Israel! Seeing a pattern? Look at Paul! He was killing Christians! Putting them in jail, but saw the light on the Road to Demascus and was struck blind only to receive his sight back! Not just his physical eyesight, but the doors of his heart were opened as well! You gotta be seeing this pattern now! Look at me! I'm a freaking nobody! I'm not rich. I don't have any money. I'm not worth a hill of beans. (haha, no pun intended there. =) But God is using me and will continue using me until the day I die! And He does the same thing for you! Your tuesday nights are NOT spent in vain. All the hard work you put into those nights. God bless you. jewels in the crown! Oh big ones little ones. green ones. purple ones. =)


We must cross that finish line with all the passion and desire in our hearts as we started out with! 1 Corinthians 9:24 says:

"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it." (NKJV)

Run! Run! Run! (Forrest Gump comes to mind here... =p)
Run that race! Don't stop for anything or anyone!

I know there are so many people who will tell you and are telling you right now that this ministry is stupid and worldly and demonic and wrong. It brings me to tears. This isn't supposed to build up walls. So don't let them build up those walls. And do not become discouraged when people speak out against you! Jesus said that you are blessed if you are reviled for His sake.

For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you.

1 Corinthians 9:19-23 (NKJV)

I love this verse. It has become my anthem to anyone who speaks against what we do.
Paul became a Jew so that he could relate to the Jews and speak with them about Christ, from their perspective. He became a Gentile to the Gentiles to bring them the gospel from their side of it. All that he did to become as others, he did without sacrificing his morals. He lived in this world, but he was not apart of this world. We live in the world, but we're not of this world. We come to an MTV generation. We get their attention. They come and are radically changed only for the better. Don't let any cause you to believe this is a bad thing that's going on.

I'll finish with this: Only God knows the outcome of this, but we cannot stop what we're doing. We MUST see this thing through! Please be encouraged by this! It's come as a revelation to share with you! 1 o'clock in the morning and I'm tippity tapping away. =) It's not in vain. Nothing ever is.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."
John 3:16

** I DIDN'T WRITE THIS, but I wanted to let some of my blogger friends who wouldn't get to read it on facebook to read it** Thank you Kelly Bean!

350 days ago...

Its been 350 days since a day that I will never forget. Most people probably couldn’t tell you the date, or why that day is so significant in my life. That day absolutely, beyond the shadow of any doubt, changed my life more that I would have ever dreamed. Still today I fight the that day, often physically, but more often emotionally. The memories of those moments will come up, and remind me what a joy it is to be alive.

Sitting in the service Tuesday night, which is something I don’t do every often, I got a reality check. Matt’s was talking about having just one chance, having just one chance to make a difference for Jesus. Its one conversation. Its taking the time to tell someone about the answer they are searching for. If I would have known a year ago what would have happened, I would have no doubt done things differently. I would have stopped. I wouldn’t have been so rushed.

But honestly, I can’t really tell you who I was before this accident. The memory of the accident no doubt cloud the memories of life before it. I can’t tell you what I was thinking. But I’ve learned since the accident. I am a fighter; I will fight for what I know I need to do. The people that surrounded me after the accident, and likely before, will tell you that I wanted to do things on my own. There were days that I needed A LOT of help, but I tried to do it myself. I think this was because I knew that I needed to do it myself to prove to myself that I could.

Driving again absolutely was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Learning to trust myself behind the wheel of a car was really hard. I remember driving for the first time; I couldn’t tell you the first time I drove by myself when I got my lisence, but I can tell you exactly where I was going when I drove by myself for the first time after the accident. But I can tell you that everytime I get in the car today, I am reminded of the grace of God and his hand all over my life. I am reminded that I was given a second chance at life that I didn’t deserve.

A second chance at life will change you. Having the opportunity to live again. I was telling someone my story about the accident a couple weeks ago. This was the comment that came out: “once you almost lose your life, you understand the importance of living each moment like its your last more than you ever have before.” Watching people come around me and help me when I needed it. The weeks of recovery that took everyone around me to help me heal. It shows you the importance of friends. It shows you how often you need to tell people that you love them. It shows you how little material things matter. It shows you how short life is.

I beg you friends, to count today like it matters. Today could be the last chance you have to live. I never knew that almost a year ago I almost lost my life. I wouldn’t change what happened because I am a better person because of it. My testimony is a picture of God’s grace and how much love he has for us. If you’ve never heard the story, ask me about it. I’ll show you how faithful God really was through the whole situation.

I’m learning right now to trust in the Lord and know that his plan is way greater than the plan I had for myself. It’s a time that I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I know that I have to trust in the Lord. He has a plan that is a lot bigger than I could ever dream for myself.
Keep seeking. Love each of you.

And here are some of the pictures of the car. Thankfully there aren't any of me, but you can see that I came out alive of something I know I shouldn't have.

Rambling

You know what?

Sometimes it gets old. It gets old to be the one who is waiting. It gets old to see all your friends have the time of their lives when you face life by yourself. It gets old to let people know that you just are you and there isn’t someone else in your life. That for some reason that you aren’t good enough for someone. That you work and keep busy, but at times you feel so alone in the world.

But, to meet a baby who was just given the gift of life. To know that you will know her for the rest of your life. You are waiting for the day that she calls you and says, “I love and miss you Aunt Kris.” Her twenty-inch body took my breath away. She is so beautiful. I don’t think I can love someone more than I love her. Lilly will always be a part of my life; she will know that she is loved so she won’t go through the pain that I had to go through. To know that God sent his son as a baby to save me. What a precious gift babies are. I don’t think I realized that as much as I do now before I met Baby Lillian.

And to realize that you aren’t with someone because there is someone out they’re waiting for you. To know that you don’t have to change yourself to be loved; you will be loved for the rest of your life just as you are. To realize that there is someone out there for you. That one day your divinely orchestrated life will cross with the person that He made for you. You will realize that this is the man you were to marry. Or you realize that God made you because he wants you all for himself. He didn’t make you a husband because he wants you to whole-heartedly serve him for the rest of your life. He wants you to focus on him and his work. It will be worth it.

We just have to be okay with God’s plan. I don’t know God’s plan for my life for tomorrow. I don’t know where I will be in five years except for in constant communion with him, serving in his kingdom wherever he tells me I need to go. That's the only constant that I know will be there in the future.

The bad doesn’t seem so bad when you realize we were created as eternal beings. The promise of the future makes living for Jesus worth every hardship. Knowing Him is worth so much more than the worries of the world.

Just some of my ramblings from today. Praying for each of you.

The Last Great Outpouring

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End," says the Lord, "who is and was and is to come, the Almighty." Revelation 1:8

Behold, you stand on the threshold of a new day. For I have truly great things in store for you. Yes, you have not power to conceive what I am about to do. For I will bring to pass a new thing. You will rejoice exceedingly. You have heard of the showers, but I say to you: I will send a mighty downpour. Many have cried out to me from hungry hearts and received my fullness and seen My glory; but I say to you: In the day of great deluge which is coming, many will come to know the reality of my power who have until now not even dreamed of such a thing.

Many who are scoffer and who are honest doubters will find themselves swept away on the swelling tide of the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. For this is the time of the last great outpouring. This is the day of preparation for the coming of the Lord. Many shall rejoice together in the Spirits work who are now at sword's point over doctrinal disputes and barriers of tradition.

But let your heart be encouraged; for a new day is dawning: a day of repentance and a day of gathering for My people. For they shall not continue to be barricaded and isolated behind walls of prejudice. I am the Lord, and I will be worshiped in Spirit and in truth, and not in the bigotry of sectarianism and narrowness of denominationalism. The world is waiting for a robust Church to minister to its needs; and how can an ailing, dismembered Body bring healing to a sick and dying world?

Surely I will pour out My Spirit, and by prophecies, by signs and wonders, but many different types of miracles, and by healings, I will reaffirm the veracity of My Word and bring the message of the Gospel of Redemption to many who would otherwise never give heed. I am the Alpha and Omega. Stand firm in Me. Never waver.

Be faithful regardless of apparent failures and discouragements; for My Word shall surely be fulfilled, and your eyes shall see revival in proportions such as never before witnessed in the history of the human race.

Keep your eye on the end of the course. Victory is secured already. Do not let the hurdles cause you consternation. Stay in the running. Truly, I am at your side. According to each day shall your strength be; and the race is not won by the swift, but the obedient shall receive the prize.

Come Away My Beloved
Frances J. Roberts

Hope that blesses you at much as it did me today. Jesus is taking over our city. Be ready to have your world rocked. He's in that business. Keep doing what your supposed to do. Love you guys! K

Blink

**This blog is inspired by a blog friend of mine. Read her blog; its a beautiful picture of motherhood, and trying to understand who God is. Be prepared to cry, laugh, and morn right along side of her. Audrey Caroline**
Blink

Taking a mental picture of a moment knowing that you will probably never get it back again in life. Taking the time to realize the beauty of each moment, and know that so often they only come once. They were some easy moments; some times they were really hard moments. But they defined me; they mark a time of change, a moment that will forever be a part of my memories.

Walking down the sidewalk with Matt, telling him about the World Race and what God was doing. Having him respond with “I want ‘my team’ here” but understanding why I need to go.

Blink.

Reading a letter from my dad with “I love you” at the bottom.

Blink.

Seeing a picture of Lillian and realizing in less than 2 months she will be in the world, wanting to protect her, but also let her see the world at the same time. Falling in love with something that is only a picture that I can hold right now.

Blink.

A text from Ashley that says I love you. If she only realized how much I needed that.

Blink.

Struggling to get a normal family picture whenever we go get them taken.

Blink.

When Dana came up to Birmingham for Taryn and Herbie’s wedding, shopping, going to the wedding, and running after. Realizing what a beautiful friend I have in her. A sister that God never gave me.

Blink.

Walking down the hallway at Cathedral with one of the Basement Crew; it doesn’t matter who it is, but talking just of life, of the unknowns, and faith in Christ. Never realizing how big of a thing we really are apart of, just focused on doing what we are supposed to do. But knowing that what we are doing is changing the world.

Blink.

Finding a bumper sticker that only Dana would understand and sending it to her.

Blink.

Hearing from an old friend and reconnecting, realizing I has just thought about her the day before.

Blink.

My first night at the dorms by myself, feeling so alone, not realizing what amazing friends were going to come from college.

Blink.

Struggling through my first semester at Southeastern, hating life, and having God do an amazing work in my life over that semester.

Blink.

Walking across the stage at graduation in 2005, pretty sure that Dad was going to light my gown on fire with the candle.

Blink.

Meeting Mercy, having her stay on my head all day, and wishing she could have been my own child.

Blink.

Walking on the jet way in Entebbe, saying do you realize that we’re in Africa now? I feel in love that day with a continent that will always be a part of my heart. And little did I realize how much a country would change me.

Blink.

Watching the sunrise after a day of being sick at Telling the Truth rescue unit. Its like God was painting a picture just for me that day.

Blink.

Breaking my arm on the well arm in Uganda, passing out, and the awful hospital visit.

Blink.

Hanging upside down in the car, deciding whether to give up right there, or fight. And deciding to fight.

Blink.

Talking with Jason for the first time about working at CrossPoint, and the moments that followed and the time I spent there.

Blink.


This will be updated later this week with more moments that are just like those posted and some pictures of those moments, but I wanted to get this put up.

Promises.

Encouragement for the journey:

Set Your Course By My Promises

“The Lord is faithful, who will establish and guard you from the evil one.” 2 Thessalonians 3:3

Be not afraid, I will not allow your adversaries to swallow you up. You are My child; I will deliver you, honor you, and be glorified through you. Because of My faithfulness to you, even your enemies will recognize my power. I will keep you in sickness, and in death I will be your sure comfort. I will walk with you through the valley, and you will fear no shadow. Hold to My promises. They are given to you A chart is given to a ship, and a compass to the hunter. You may set your course and find your way by My promises. They will lead you and guide you in places where there is no trodden path. They will give you direction and wisdom and will open up your own understanding.
Study My Word, the Bible. It abounds with nuggets of courage. It will strengthen you and help you, and even in eternity you will partake of its far-reaching effects.


Come Away My Beloved
Frances J. Roberts


I read this today. Jesus opened the book, and I just read it. Finding out this news last night, and reading this really made it that He's taking care of me. I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future. Hopefully this encourages you too.